<![CDATA[The Write Queen

<![CDATA[The Write Queen - Blog]]>Sun, 21 Dec 2025 04:08:06 -0600Weebly<![CDATA[Dear Person: A Series of Epistles - Letter #1]]>Thu, 04 Apr 2019 19:37:24 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/dear-person-a-series-of-epistles-letter-1Dear V.,

You slipped in quietly, in the middle of a no-name day. Sat in the corner, humming a beck and call held closely in your mouth, a tune I follow through the corner of my eye. Your uncertainty is curious but unfocused. I step closer, give you permission to let me down with your proposal; a broken record of offering a rundown tenement of your body - I’ve heard this pitch before.

I am offered kingdoms for a pledge of my submission on a regular basis.

We briefly tease out the game, circle around intrigue. Too quickly, we retreat back to our corners of the earth and go on as if nothing passed our lips. I watch from a distance, unsettled. Something inside me keeps bubbling thoughts I push away. Through all the ordinary things I don’t want to say, lies a muse fiddling with the matchbook, using her head to scratch the surface I wish to burn. I bite my tongue and refuse to form a god out of my curiosity of you.

You're the first altar I don't want to adorn.

On paper, there is no way we would blend. If we were total strangers, we would probably pass each other. Adonis does not carry on with Eve until after she takes a bite of the apple to prove her sin. I won't deny the urge to trail kisses from your Adam’s apple down to your snakehead, but I’ve performed this act of carnality before. I don’t want to apologize for a fleeting moment and have it mistaken for love.

Especially, when I want to know...

I can’t explain the urge to know more than a glance. From afar, I see you in angles I am curious about. What's your history? Your passion to move in the world? What makes your eyes crinkle in laughter? Your heart drop in fear? What are your favorite stories? How many times have you fallen in love? Who makes up your family? What's your favorite meal? Your favorite secret? Guilty pleasures? What...

makes me care so much?

I could have you in ungodly ways, knee-to-lip benediction, a worship that would blow our minds for a night. I could burn in a love that would never ignite a flame, leaving a wreckage of wanton regret. Yet all I want is your vibe, to see your humanity, to complete a history I wanted to know when my moon was still rising.

I know you are probably not interested in giving away more than a boyhood curiosity. Lackluster encounters should dampen the compulsion to chit chat myself into a deeper connection. You're a classic lesson in "people make an effort for those they want to spend time with." One word answers to curve the intentions you don't think of asking about.

I don’t want you in the form of love poems and romantic comedies. I don’t want you as a smutty magazine or meet-ups in the Red Light District. I'm attracted to the pull of watching you from a distance to the stories I conjure in my mind about the kindness I see in your eyes. You’ve triggered a je ne sais quoi kind of something.

I'm not brave enough to ask if we can vibe and I know you wouldn't have an interest. I care too much for the average person, an awkward mess of fumbling “how do you do” with apologies for taking up your time. I’m at the age where I don’t know how to ask if we can be friends without going through a round of attempted romance. I have to get over this: the overthinking, the oversharing, the over you.

I put this letter into the universe as my final word. I take the hint to bury the need. Personally, I hope this never finds you, that the universe will make it so that you are too busy to notice the foolishness marked down for prosperity. Pardon the need to poem you, that’s just who I am. Pardon my heart, it’s just too big along with the body that shadows what you could have seen in me. Ignore me as other timelines do. By the time you find this, my eyes will have learned to skip over you and even if that’s not the case, let’s pretend they have.

Sincerely,

The woman who is learning to turn down her gods]]><![CDATA[What do I want to be when I grow-up: 2018 and Life Goals]]>Sun, 31 Dec 2017 17:50:23 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/what-do-i-want-to-be-when-i-grow-up-2018-and-life-goals
As a part of my "I am doing it no matter what" attitude, I would like to speak about some of my goals. Not all of the details or the progress, just what they are. They say if you speak it into existence...so let's see how this goes when I do it my way. This is in no particular order.

Publish a book by any means necessary.
Start a micro-chapbook press that is inclusive to writers on all levels.
Write more haiku, a form that I love.
Share my work in Instagram, even if it means I am in danger of becoming an "Instagram poet". I just want to share.
Work for a non-profit on a professional level (marketing, management, writer, ahh - just look at my resume here).
Blog more. About anything.
Build websites for artists.
Get The Write Movement off the ground and truly start my own non-profit.
Travel to places around the country to study writing.
Gain more skills in digital media.
Learn more about publishing as a whole (maybe take classes or just read a lot, we'll see).
Learn about book design.
Experiment more with writing.
Create a photography project.
Start a podcast.
Do more graphic design.
Help my friends in their creative pursuits.
Help the Chicago Writers Association be all that it can be.
Volunteer with other literary organizations.
Publish some good old fashion journalism. At least once with some publication.
Submit to literary stuff when I want to, if I want to.
Create an app (I know for what, just not sharing the idea on here - contact me if you are curious).
Work for an app again even with the danger of companies closing at anytime (I like working in tech).
Be happy, no matter the outcome or the level of support.

Okay, so that last one is harder than it seems. I want support for the things I do and I want to succeed. Who doesn't want that?

But I also want to be able to live with failure. If I fail, at least I tried. Really tried. It's better than just getting up and going to work to pay the bills. I have to do that too, but I want to be able to go to work, then come home and work some more on the things that make me happy. I've done it before, juggling 40+ hours and go to readings, find time to write, design, and more. I've done it and for a while, people saw that. It felt nice.

The difference is that I want to do that and not care who sees. If you recognize my work and want to work with me, great. I am all about collaboration, team work, and hard work. If you don't, then hey, I am still working because it makes a difference somewhere in the world. Keeps me alive.

This list is for me only. Yes, it involves work involving other people, but if it doesn't happen, well...I guess I am only accomplishing some of these goals. I want to share because if you get inspired, let that take you somewhere.

Be inspired.

These aren't resolutions by the way. These are my continuous life goals. Not saying this because it's the beginning of a new year. I am not starting these tomorrow, I am just starting.

Let's see what I can do...

Till next time,

]]><![CDATA[Yet Another 2017 End-of-Year Reflection]]>Sun, 31 Dec 2017 15:34:48 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/yet-another-2017-end-of-year-reflectionHello world,

It's been a while since I've been here. Where I want to write about anything or am willing to. It's been a long, long time.

That's because 2017 has truly been a year of struggle, heartbreak, and disappointments.

My father died on July 9, 2017. The worst day of my life.

Anything else that has happened is so small or almost as important, but not quite like having a parent die.

This is something that changes you forever, depending on your relationship. Our relationship was shaky at times, but for the most part, it was an okay relationship that was cut short because of cancer. And I wasn't around for much of the cancer because I had school and then struggled through life to find full-time work when the opportunity wasn't there at my current job (or used to be current job where I eventually became full-time because I lost that too, due to the company shutting down at the end of November - surprise! almost as important, but still not the worst thing).

I lost time with my father because I had to keep a roof over my head and didn't have enough money to move there or to fly out to see him all the time. I was going through so much to keep afloat that I lost time. Now I am haunted by the urge to pick up the phone and call him, then remembering I can't. I am haunted by a lot of things, including his last days, But let's not get into that.

I will have time to write about all the things I am feeling.

Because other than searching for a new job, I need to do something that is right for me.

I need to write.

I woke up on the last day of the year, skimming through social media quietly as I've done for the past year or so (yes friends, I see you online though I don't do much online for myself anymore. I see you.), and something in me broke.

I am extremely tired of the rules of a writer, playing the game to get recognition. A game I haven't participated in for a year because I just got tired, so tired that I couldn't say I am tired.

I am tired! I used to have a hunger in me. An abandon where I shared my writing and nothing else mattered. The literary magazines, the fellowships, the workshops. None of that mattered to me at all.

I wrote and I shared.

That's how this blog came to life. It was many things before it was The Write Queen. It's even broke off into different parts. But it started with a hunger to share without boundaries.

I need that back. I need to take myself back.

I want the things that other writers want. I want to write for a publication. I want to be published in literary magazines. I want to be published by a press. I want validation. Who doesn't want that?

But sometimes, validation isn't worth the decline of yourself.

Validation isn't worth the decline of yourself. Validation isn't worth the decline of your art. Validation isn't worth the decline of your life.

YET part of my education and slowly building career involves giving other people validation. Because I love the arts. I love writing. I love being a part of the foundation. I want people to have the tools they need to be seen as a valid piece in the arts world. I believe that if you want yourself out there in the world, you have to have a place to do it. You need to have the tools.

It has to be for the right reasons. Not because this is the way things are. Not because the arts can also be a business so you must treat it as such. The only thing that matters is that you put yourself out there in the world because you love what you do. Yeah, we want quality. We want craft and talent. But are those the only valid traits for art?

No. I've seen art in all forms whether it's good or not. But it's out there because people believe it should be. The artist believed it should be. It's the hunger of wanting your art in the world. Not caring about the rules or the traditional route.

I've drowned myself in trying to get in traditionally. I've learned that I am nothing special, that my work isn't the best. I am not the best writer. Not the best poet. Hell, I am terrified to perform on a stage and because I sound terrified and I stutter, my work isn't seen for what it is. I am not good enough for some workshops. I am good enough for other workshops, but still won't get in. My writing is too similar to someone who got published the issue before so they won't publish me. I know editors and that still doesn't get me published. I am not as good as some of my friends and people in the writing community treat me as such. I am a tag-a-long. Not the strongest member of a group. Doesn't matter if I came up with the ideas that set the foundation. I am not the superstar, so anything I do is invalid. I think too big, too abstract, too much and people don't get me.

I am sometimes the weakest link. Sometimes I am no one and everyone passes me by. Sometimes I am abandoned despite being the best friend to someone. Sometimes I have an opinion and because I put up with a lot of crap that I don't speak up for, I am seen as someone who has an attitude. I yes people to death. I hold a lot of hands and soothe a lot of tears. I have been treated badly and don't tell that person that they have done something to hurt me, but the minute I disagree with them or tell them that they have treated me badly, I get shitted on like I am the worst person. Sometimes I am accountable and sometimes I can't be because people are being petty for no reason before I can process. I have to be a friend based on that friend's emotional landscape and nothing more because apparently I don't count unless I am someone's friend their way. Same thing with family. This happens because I am a quiet person who is too good to people and not good enough to herself. Who has become fed up along the way and admittedly can be stubborn when she finally shows she is fed up. But that doesn't mean I am wrong.

But none of this matters to me anymore. My dad died this year and none of this matters. I want my writing to matter. I want my life to matter, but I can't do it this way anymore because none of this is the most important part.

I never thought that my dad could live forever. No one does. And that is scary. But when someone that close dies. you realize that all the stuff you hold on to doesn't matter.

If I want to write, I will write. If I want to to submit it, I will submit it. If I have support, I have support. If I don't, it's okay because no matter how woke you are or say certain things, communities still act like it's a popularity contest. I no longer wish to be popular. I no longer wish for validation. I haven't made the moves to self-publish because I still want a press to validate me. Well, if a press sees my work, if an editor sees my work out there in the world and likes it, contact me because unless I choose to put myself through the traditional process, this is the only way I want it. Reach out to me. My time is valuable and I am making it MY time. As the great Maxine Waters says, RECLAIMING MY TIME!

I am a good person, a good friend. I will do anything for you, but only if you know how to be a friend. I will no longer chase certain friendships or validate bad behavior. I will no longer let that interfere with my creative life. I know who my true friends are and I accept that we will both make mistakes. But if you can't talk it out and listen to me when I say you are hurting me and then turn it around on me like I am doing all the things I am saying you are doing to me when I haven't or I have and rectified a situation that you can't let go or admit your part in, then we no longer have a friendship. If you don't take the time to reach out or only reach out to me when things are good in my life, then bye, I don't need you in my life. If your ego is worth more than my feelings, then I hope your ego is a better friend. I will no longer be crapped on. I apologize when I do something wrong, not because you can't admit you are wrong or have blown something out of portion and the only way for things to calm down is for me to apologize for something I don't have to apologize for or that my feelings don't count. If you can't talk it out, get out. If we can't respect each other's time for talking things out, then go on with your timetable because FRIENDSHIP IS A TWO WAY STREET WHERE WE HAVE TO RESPECT EACH OTHER. If I didn't talk it out fast enough for you because only your feelings count, then I guess that's what it is. You don't get to decide when it's on or off because you can't handle your feelings. If you can't be on a two way street with me, then you can go on your one way and hope you don't meet a dead end.

If you don't see me as a flawed person, as a good person, as a person who has given you so much in a friendship, maybe too much where she should value herself more, if you can only see bad because your ego is more important than seeing that people make mistakes or that misunderstandings happen on both sides, then it's not a true friendship. Friendship is not only your way.

If I am seen a certain way for saying this, then so be it. My tribe knows who I am so they don't see this as a certain way. If anything, they are hoping that I keep this up because I am a lot of good things in this world and I let so much get me down.

It's a waste. We could die tomorrow and all of this is a waste of valuable time.

Standing up for myself in whatever way I choose doesn't mean that I don't see the issues I do have or that I don't apologize for wrongdoings. If I am wrong, I am wrong and I am sorry. If we have differing opinions, let's get to a compromise or agree to disagree. But that doesn't mean that I have to put up with certain treatment. Not anymore. I wish no ill will towards anyone. I wish you all the success in the world. I still love you and for some, still want you in my life. But that doesn't mean that I have to support toxic friendships, uneven friendships. I am tired of the physical ill this causes in my life. I am tired of losing my hair. I am tired of sitting alone because people decided their egos are worth more than true friendship and they make decisions before looking at the whole picture. I know what true friendship is and it isn't all of this. I've talked it out many times with people and other people let me know that it isn't all on me. So this isn't me crying a woe is me tune and I am really an evil bitch. I've been told that other people are being unreasonable. Sometimes I choose shitty friends. Or I choose emotionally stunted friends. Or I choose people who see that I will be their cheerleader and their ego wants a yes friend, not a real friend.

These are the things that have be plaguing me for over a year. This is why I've been quiet. This is why I've been killing myself slowly. I don't talk about it and this is dangerous. There's so much I have to work out and I have to start telling people that they haven't held up their end of the bargain. That they hurt me so I grew so quiet to avoid more conflict. This isn't healthy. I have to value myself more. I have to stand up for myself. Sometimes I even need to yell.

I need to write. I need to achieve some goals. I have to fulfill my ideas. I have to fail and be messy. I have to feel these things. I have to continue speaking even when the world feels like its collapsing. I need to be cliche and original. I need to live.

My dad would want me to push through. Even when we didn't see eye-to-eye, even when we fought about the way I did things because he had a certain view, he let me do it anyway. He would want me to stand up for myself, even if it burned down my life.

So this is the start, this messy blog post that I have been writing for over an hour. I am writing and it feels good, even if it isn't good, even if it causes problems. This feels good. This is where healing starts. This is where more trouble starts.

I no longer seek validation from the outside. I am starting from inside and if it validates me, then I have overcome half the battle.

I am writing and I am writing for me. I am becoming my own best friend, not out of poor friendships, but because this is where it starts anyway. It all starts within.

Till next time,

]]><![CDATA[I Am Not A Single Story]]>Sat, 13 Aug 2016 17:02:29 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/i-am-not-a-single-story"All of these stories make me who I am. But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience and to overlook the many other stories that formed me. The single story creates stereotypes, and the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story." - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

This is from “The danger of the single story” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a TED talk from TED Global 2009. The essence of the talk, as described on the TED website, is: Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding. I was exploring the internet as usual and it ended up in my path. This talk is a gem for anyone who has ever seen something as singular. I was Yaaaaasss-ing my way through it and was only going to share the video and the above quote along with a thought or two when a rush of feelings overcame me and I knew I was going to write more than a sentence. So blog time!

There's a reason why I don't write about where I come from. Not because I don't want to, but because I don't want it to become my single identity. I often find that when I talk about the things I have accomplished, that they are never good enough for the many writerly things I apply for that are supposed to help writers like me, a young POC who wouldn't have the opportunity otherwise to go to retreats, conferences, be published, etc.. I won't say that I am the best writer, but I do have strong skill and some talent. I don't deserve a lot of the chances I seek compared to those who get them. But I wonder who am I really if I am not anything they put down on paper about who these opportunities benefit. I often study those who did get the opportunities I seek, so I can learn what organizations and publications are looking for, and I see patterns in what is said about these writers. For a select few, it is about their undeniable, amazing talent and where they come from. For others, who don't have the strongest writing ability or talent, it's mostly about where they came from and who they are because of it.

They come from nothing, they are making names for themselves. They come from parents who were damaging or homes that took away something from leading a normal path. You read stories of writers who live in near poverty, who have kids and all of their resources go to their families and they can't afford to take a writing class. They fell into drugs and got clean. They were sexually abused or assaulted and learned how to take back their power. They worked three jobs to get through college. There are so many versions of the poor writer's story who had to overcome so many obstacles and now are beginning to tell their story to the world. But as the quote above from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TED talk says, we often insist on the negative stories.

We let them define how we are seen and we let them define our opportunities.

How dare I say that and diminish the stories of others, you say. How dare I? First, let me say that these stories are absolutely important. They are a part of our identities. They are our story. I don't want to diminish that. But they are not the only versions of who we are. Now it's fine if this is how you want people to see you. It's fine if you wear it proudly like a badge of honor. There's nothing wrong with others defining themselves whatever way they want to. What upsets me is how opportunities are given based on how other people see the stories of writers. What they deem as worthy. There are people who fall into many stereotypes that determines who is worthy to be seen and it's not the writing that's doing it, but how people see the writing and the writers.

All this is to say that there is a reason I don't explore certain topics or I don't explore those topics publicly in my writing. I don't want to be defined by them. If I write about my father's domestic abuse, that he was a drug dealer, that my mom left him and had to go on welfare when I was 10, that we were so poor that financial aid for 98% of my undergrad education (the kind you don't have to pay back), that we got kicked out of our apartment that I lived in for the majority of my life when I was 20 and that until I left for grad school, I slept in the same bed as my mother because we lived in single rooms together and could never afford to do more, how would you see me then?

Would my poetry and myself be defined as these stories, these facts of my life? Would you always see these first and what I am doing with my work second? I am more than the girl, the young woman who has had these things happen in life. I write about love, I write about seeing myself as something better or more. I write because something sounds pretty and because we still have schools of poetry such as language poetry. I like to experiment with writing and sometimes others don't understand it. Sometimes I am not universal enough. Sometimes I am not simple. Sometimes I am told that we don't get to see the real Christina within my good poems even though a lot of them are deeply personal for me, even if they are not about all the aspects of my life.

Sometimes people want to insert tragedy where there is none. I was recently in a workshop and the majority thought my poem indicated an assault that I went through. NO, it's still just another love poem using images of power and submission through the helplessness of loving someone. But if I wrote about the time a guy I really liked came to visit one of my undergrad campuses after graduating and when we had some alone time, he tried to force me to give him a blowjob when I wasn't in the mood to do so AND that I had to run away from him and hide in another building until I saw he walked off of campus, how would you define me as a writer then? Am I worthy because I've been through that or am I worthy because it's a good piece of writing?

There is such a thing as being a bad writer. Experiences in life do not equate to good writing. Being something or defined as something doesn't equate to good writing. The simplest pieces of writing that anyone could have said on a good day are being defined as prolific pieces of poetry and sometimes it's because of the story behind someone's life and not because of the writing! I've seen bad or okay writers receive opportunities to study with great writers and yet I see very little change in their writing. They still get the praise because of the life they lived. What they have survived. Which is all well and good because we all need to be cherished for what we do, what we try to do, and even what we fail at. But this does not mean that we throw opportunities at someone just because of their story. They are more than that. We are more than our negatives.

Our talents aren't defined by the negative things that have happened in our lives.

So I won't write the narratives they expect me to write because I am Latina, because I've been poor (or I am poor, don't let post-grad life fool you - I don't know how I will pay my rent for September), because I am fat, because I am homely, because I am a New Yorker, because I live in Chicago, because I have lived in a home full of domestic violence until I was 10, because my family is screwed up.

I will say that I've been through a lot, but I rather talk about surviving grad school like any other person, about the businesses and organizations I want to start. I want to talk about how I love Grey's Anatomy or how I really love tomato soup after trying it for the first time last year. I want to talk about the good! I want that to define me as well. I want my opportunities because I am a decent or good writer and you see something in me that should grow, even if I only write love poems for the rest of my life and never write about how dementia changed my grandmother or how much I miss her now that she has recently passed. Those would be beautiful poems, but these are my stories if I chose to tell them and these stories aren't who I am when you meet me. They are a part of me and yes, I fall into some of the stereotypes - but they are not the complete story. I am so layered and so are you.

#wearenotasinglestory

Till next time and with much love,

Because everyone should watch this brilliant TED talk:

]]><![CDATA[Good girls aren’t supposed to beg for water...and other poems to share]]>Mon, 25 Apr 2016 02:40:14 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/good-girls-arent-supposed-to-beg-for-waterand-other-poems-to-shareHello Write Queeners,

It's been a while since I've shared poetry on my site because I've wanted to make sure I can submit my work according to certain guidelines for literary journals. But being inspired by all the 30/30 posts of poetry that I've been seeing on my Facebook timeline and most recently, Beyonce's very poetic Lemonade, I wanted to share. Nothing is really polished, but comments and feedback are welcomed (and editors are welcome to ask me for my work - I'll certainly take it down for you :D ). Enjoy.

Good girls aren’t supposed to beg for water

Have you ever wanted to say something inappropriate?
Where your mouth itches like burnt sun,
when your fingers constantly dance tap
to every person you have loved and teared over?

You constantly fight oxygen from forming words
that house a legion of pounding emotions,
knowing you will be, you are the screaming
woman on the other side of the door,
where silence pretends you’re not there.

Everyday I want to tell you, “I miss your skin.”
Your arms smooth, your shaking hands.
I never got to kiss your shaking hands.
My brain is in a constant loop of “I love you”,
packed neatly in cross-legged politeness of “How do you do?”

Good girls aren’t supposed to beg for water.
We are supposed to wait with blindfolds for flowers
to pass across our knuckles, for armor to get down
on one knee and cup devotion upon our cheeks.

But I am not good. I am loving. I am kind.
But I am not good. I’ve watched duplicates of
my heartbeat swirl down drains and thrown
the completely devoted from my altar.

I tell you “I love you” and you say, “Okay.”
You say, “Okay.” yet everyday I want
to tell you, “I miss your skin. Your shaking hands.”
I want to be openly clandestine in your shower,
in city parks, on the train platform, watching coming storms.

Feed me burnt sun, if you can’t give me water.
Tell me you’ll think about it, that you’ve thought about.
Tell me if I am being inappropriate. Tell me to go.
Tell me to go scratch my itch somewhere else and come back friendly.

Or tell me, wait. I’m not ready, but wait.
There’s a chance, but wait. Tell me “I miss your skin.”
but I have to find a way to love mine.

I can wait in the pews, until you invite me to the alter.
I’ve never been the girl to deny dirty water.

Your silence is
a numbing
agent across my chest,
uncomfortably shadowing
the passage to air.
I wait for
this grenade to leak,
but instead I stare
at a screen, watching green
dots flash into one
minute, two minutes.
Breathe a little, until the next
flash to remind me that time
bombs cause silence, not noise.

Rust filled her quiet morning mouth.
Her ears filled with disguised voices.
Nose bright, raw falls to mouth.
Train conductor muffled. She needs tuning.

Lips feel numb. It's the stroke.
It's the fear of falling coins.
Everything is blood, once it leaks.
Tuesday mornings know nothing of Sundays.

This Judas of a body remembers.
You graduated from half moon wishes.
To denial, another winner to head.
I have finally cracked the code.
I'll have to answer bloody, mouthed.

We've always been told be polite. Mind your manners. Speak when it's your turn. Don't push, don't shout, don't cause trouble. If we did, our mommas would make sure that we wouldn't do that again. So we wait until we are pressed against the floor and no way out of hands that were told to mind OUR manners. It doesn't matter that two minutes before that we were silent while the others shout in our faces. It doesn't matter that our hands are hanging down to our sides. It doesn’t matter that someone else moves closer and closer with a finger to our faces. None of the politeness matters before we are on the floor or after we are no longer polite. All they see are arms in the air and mouths that suddenly speak. That it's not our turn. Because there's always someone telling us to mind our manners. There's always someone who tells us to be polite.

Politeness is the disease of the colored child. Of the poor child. Of the child who thought everyone was kind until they weren't. Politeness is the cousin of permission. Permission is the burden of women who never stopped being little girls begging for approval or men never knowing when to get approval since boyhood. Be polite soft one. You can’t get in trouble this way.

Beatitudes of a Lingering Dystopia

As she made me cry
in the ruins of childhood,
scattered on top
of an ancient television set -
the box filled with 76 winters.

Luckily, those memories floated
back into the clouds,
the basement door swelled
from the storm.

Cherry blossoms arrived
as if on cue,
her diaphragm uncaged.
She'd only remember green -
open-mouthed seed bearing
a name in the dead
kingdom of Eden.

/ˌrēyo͞oˈnīt/

v.

Close proximity to him was dangerous. Miles of other people’s lives never stopped the occasional ache, but filling their holes with other people’s fingers kept it at bay. A rim of tequila and a broken gate on 42nd Street brought rain to her knees, the gun pressed to her cheek in a bathroom stall of headlights. She was a big girl now, so she toss her tongue indifferently between his cracks. Sensing the tiniest measure of feelings, nostalgia turned quickly into silent contempt. Desire was the switch, but addiction was the God that never left between her ears.

His name gasped everything.

Drift

Small memory,
go take a walk on
white knuckled
islands.

You’re an outlaw
on a gypsy piano,
mapping out
blank tongues
on the back
of glaciers,

floating pass
ancient astronauts
on your way
to civilization.

Who told you
the moon was
your child, when
you haven’t
seen the sun?

I was told
standing in
silence was not
the way stories
get written.

Jas on the day you break your heart

It’s nice that she recognizes
you from behind -
a mailbox full of tears,
locked out of your landfill
where ice cream cartons
and pictures of almost
zombie heartbeats await
to be stains on your pillow.

One look at her face,
I knew.

C: You didn’t get Oprah today.
J: I might be getting fired.

I check my phone, but
all I see is whiteness.
It’s never been so silent.
I turn around to head
to management, before
I managed to realize,

me too.

Sunday, Boiling

you gently press me against the wall
like a kid finger painting, no regard
to cover up costs, guests coming over
in twenty minutes, or how loud you
make me scream in furious passion.

i draw maps on your stomach with my breath
skin damp with summer and laziness,
salty from spending our time working out
our hips and spider limbs.

my hair is still damp as the spaghetti boils over.
your parents are downstairs with fresh flowers.

Daughters of Tamar

You were the palms of God
until your lips ducked
out of sight, in the cleft
of my pithy ardor
where your breath reduced me
to burnt knees, crossed.

Draped in torn
sackcloth, I bewail the ash
smeared across the last
place your lips
touched, face buried
in silence.

late sweet skies strikes smoked /
daybreak to thirsty chlorophyll /
dystopia bold

]]><![CDATA[There's A Tinder For Everything]]>Tue, 09 Feb 2016 04:51:00 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/theres-a-tinder-for-everythingAfter watching a TED talk that involved technology and human interactions, I was reminded of an article I came across a couple of weeks ago. It was called There's Now A Tinder For Friendships. The article talked about a new app called Hey VINA, an iPhone app that helps women find new friends. In the style of Tinder, the dating app, Hey VINA will help you find other women to become friends with in your area, with the ability to swipe left or right on someone of interest. As someone who has never used a dating app, but has seen plenty of her own friends use it - I found this shocking yet intriguing at the same time.

Being from elsewhere to attend grad school means having to find new friends if you don't want to spend all of your time with your fellow classmates. So far, I have achieved that goal by one new friend and I met her in the laundry room (she lives in my building). Between school. my job, and working on personal and professional projects, I hardly have time to make a new friend that's outside of Columbia. I am also a bit shy, so making new friends is not a piece of cake even if I had time. I downloaded the Hey VINA app, but unfortunately, it's only available in California with a waiting list for other cities.

I didn't think much of it until I ran across another app, this time, it was the Tinder of Business Networking called Shapr. Using a LinkedIn profile as a start for your Shapr profile, Shapr allows you to find other professionals who are nearby. It’s simple enough to swipe left or right, but I was soon worried when I realized I should look at how my LinkedIn profile imported into Shapr. After quickly making a few adjustments and praying that no one checked me out during this brief time, I swiped through a couple of more profiles. I’m still waiting for some matches and hope for the best.

Now that I feel the anticipation that my friends on Tinder must feel, I ponder on whether or not this is still an idea that society should let grow. While I am nervous around people, I want to be able to go up to someone and introduce myself. I want someone to come introduce themselves to me. I don’t want to lose the bit of confidence I have at times for these interactions. Maybe for an extrovert, this may be a good tool because they are always talking and finding others anyway. But maybe it’s good for an introvert like me who can charm someone with my words first. Being a writer, I would like to think that my words are interesting or at least, witty. If I can’t get someone with my written word, how am I suppose to babble in front of them?

WHO HAS THE TIME TO NETWORK?! Whether it’s personal or professional, you have to set aside a time to network and connect with people. Maybe this is a solution. Something that fits more into your time as you are on the go with your day-to-day. I kind of like the anxiety of a face-to-face meeting, though. Most of the time, these don’t seem to go well for me, but maybe someone will remember me. Maybe we will connect. Maybe I will tell them to add me on Facebook, where I am definitely 10 times more interesting (trust me, I’ve developed “fans” this way, oddly enough).

In the meantime, I will keep swiping right and hope someone swipes right to me.

TED Talk: Connected, But Alone?
Inspiration Article: There's Now A Tinder For Friendships
Hey VINA: http://heyvina.com
Shapr: http://www.shapr.ne

Till next time (and there will be more next times soon!),

]]><![CDATA[7 Basics For Getting Started To Build A Website (And Why You Don’t Need All of Them)]]>Wed, 26 Aug 2015 00:29:59 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/7-basics-for-getting-started-to-build-a-website-and-why-you-dont-need-all-of-themHello Write Queen Readers and new eyes,

I am starting a new segment on my blog called The Write Web, where I will talk about web design. I have been working with artists websites for the past couple of years and I would love to share some tips for those looking to have their own website, whether you do it yourself or are looking for a web designer (I will resist the urge to say "pick me, pick me!").

Once you decide that you are going to get a website one way or another, the next step is how to start. Building a website can be time consuming and a little daunting. There are a lot of bells and whistles you can use to start building, but when it all becomes a blur and you want to quit before you get started, here are 7 basic elements you need to use, obtain, or think about.

E-mail
Domain Name
Website Platform
Web Hosting
Site Map
Content
Logo

I believe out of all the things you can do to get started, these are the most essential. However, you don't always need all of them. Depending on your needs, some of these can be skipped or modified. There's no need to be married to this list of basics.

But why don't we need all of them? I will tell you below.

First you need to remember what the basics are, so I provided a nifty, shareable web graphic you can save to your computer.

Now let's get down to business.

1. E-mail

Before anything, you need an e-mail address where you are going to sign up for everything! You could use your personal e-mail, but if you want to keep your personal inbox from getting cluttered, it’s best to keep things separate. If you plan on sharing a contact e-mail with the public, this is especially helpful for keeping your personal information safe from spammers or hacking.

You can get another e-mail account for your website in two ways: as you would sign up for a personal e-mail such as G-Mail.com, Yahoo.com, Live.com, etc. or you can purchase an e-mail account for a web solutions provider such as GoDaddy.com.

Question: Shouldn’t I get an e-mail account that has my domain name?

Yes, you should, but you don’t have to pay extra if you don’t want to for another inbox. With most domain name providers, you have the ability to do e-mail forwarding. This means you can make up an e-mail address such as info@mywebsite.com, but have it forward to another e-mail provider such as G-Mail, Yahoo, etc.

Question: What if I don’t want to check two e-mail accounts?

Easy! Have the mail from the e-mail account you will use for your website forwarded to your personal e-mail. Each e-mail providers gives you instructions on how to do that between accounts. Some providers also give you tips as to how to organize incoming e-mail in their support section. As a G-Mail user, I usually use labels and folders where my incoming mail from another account will go straight into and be marked accordingly.

2. Domain Name

Now that you have you have your e-mail set up, you can start signing up for things such as a domain name! A domain name is your website address that will lead people to your website. This can be your name (especially if this is a portfolio website) or a name you make up based on what the purpose of the website is. This name can be as creative, clever, or to the point as you want it.

BUT you have to make sure that your domain name isn’t already taken. You can usually find this our by going to the site of a domain name provider, such as GoDaddy.com, and type in the name to see if it is available. If it is not available, try using another extension other than .com such as . net, .org, .us, etc. Most domain providers will give you a list of suggestions if your domain name is already taken.

With a domain name, you will be able to do things such as have your own .com (or .net, .org, .us, etc.) e-mail address. As mentioned earlier, you could purchase an e-mail account or you can create an e-mail forwarding address to an existing e-mail account.

Question: Do I always need a domain name?

Yes and No! Depending on the website platform you choose to build your website on, you don’t have to purchase a domain name right away (or ever!). With Content Management Systems (CMS) website platforms or Blogging platforms such as Weebly.com, Wordpress.com, Wix.com, Blogger.com, Tumblr.com, Squarespace.com, etc. you can get a sub domain URL through them (i.e. yourwebsite.weebly.com). You can use that subdomain for your website forever (or as long as you want your website to be up).

BUT there are benefits to having a domain name. One of them is the ease of getting a short URL to people. It is easier to say yourwebsite.com than it is to say yourwebsite.weebly.com. Having your own domain name also shows that you are professional and serious about your website and its content. Lastly, you’ll be able to have your own .com e-mail address through purchase or e-mail forwarding.

3. Website Platform

You have your e-mail and your domain name. Now it’s time to figure out what platform you will build your website on. There are a few different types of website platforms you can choose from. There are Content Management Systems (CMS) website platforms, Blogging platforms, FTP websites, web hosting with 1-click install apps. There are many options.

The most common ones that people will use to get started, especially if they are doing it on their own, are Blogging and CMS platforms. These sites are ones you may be familiar with such as Wordpress.com, Weebly.com, Wix.com, Blogger.com, Tumblr.com, Squarespace.com, and more. Most of them have easy to use features to build a basic website with a few clicks of a button.

You can even purchase a domain name through some of these platforms, though they can be a little bit more expensive. My advice is to not get the domain name through these providers unless the price seems right to you.

The right website platform will depend on your website needs. Are you only interested in blogging? Then choose a blogging platform. Do you want to have a store front? Find a platform that has one included in it (CMS platforms are great for that). Do you want a free website or are you willing to pay fees? Do you want a platform that has pretty or basic templates/layouts?

There are many questions you must ask yourself and then a lot of research you must do, especially if you are doing to build it yourself. You can also hire a web designer who is more versed on the different platforms and estimating your website needs to help you decide which platform would be the best for your website and who will build it for you.

Question: Should I pay to have premium features on a website platform?

It all depends on your needs and the features being offered by the platform. If you find that you could use or are using certain features frequently, it is worth it to invest. But if you are fine with using basic, free features and you don’t need them, don’t waste your money using them!

Question: Should I pay someone to build and design my website, even if I am using a free platform?

Yes! If you are not tech savvy, do not have the patience to learn and build, and want the best website you can possibly have, yes! Hire someone. There are plenty of web designers out there who can build your site, whether you are using free or premium features. Some web designers may even have a lower fee because of it (points to self). Shop around and see you can do the best job for you within your budget!

4. Web Hosting

E-mail, domain name, website platform. Now we are ready for web hosting. Web hosting is where the website will be hosted, your website’s home, where you will put your platform. This one is optional. Yes it is optional!

Some website platforms also host the website on their servers. When you sign up for a blogging platform or a lot of popular CMS platforms, you are instantly getting a place to host your website. The catch to this is that some of them allow you to host only a certain amount of space (though there are those who host unlimited space too!). If you want additional space, you may have to pay for additional web hosting.

There are also platforms that do not provide any type of hosting and require you to purchase a separate web hosting account such as Wordpress.org (yes there are two different Wordpress platforms), Drupal, Joomla, etc. Web hosting can also include a domain and e-mail, depending on the provider.

Lastly some web host have 1-click applications that allow you to build website on your website, giving an array of options to choose from.

Depending on how much work you want to put into designing your website, you can choose to host your website on either a platform that includes hosting and features to help design or you can host a website with something else and learn the ins and outs of web design (or you can hire someone to do that for you).

5. Site Map

When I use the term site map, I am not talking about the site map that is used to crawl pages on your website pages for search engine purposes, I am talking about your actual plan for what pages you want on your website. You can decide that you want to build a website, but if you don’t know what pages you are going to have on it, you are going to hit a wall really fast!

You should also think about how many pages you want to start off with (you can always add on later), what those pages are, and what’s going to be on them. For the average creative website, you are going to have these basic pages: About, Contact, Media (can consist of a Photo Gallery, Videos, and other digital media) and possibly a Links page full of links that you recommend.

Depending on the type of website you are going to have, you will also have pages such as: Portfolio, E-Commerce/Store, Calendar, Blog, Services, Membership, or Forum. Once you decide how many pages and what those pages are, you can sit down and think about what content will be on there.

You don’t have to plan out your exact content, but you should know where you are going to place pictures, where you are going to have videos, the type of stuff that will be on your about and content pages, and more.

6. Content

We almost have all the trimmings! The e-mail, domain name, web platform and host, what pages are we going to have and now finally the meat and potatoes of a website…the content! If you planned this right, you should know what type of content you want on your website and where it will go. But how do you get, find or create content? Depending on the type of website you are building, this will vary.

For a portfolio website, you have links, videos, or pictures to existing work or you scan in or take pictures of existing work and upload it to your website. For a blog, you’ll have to plan it out a little more. You will have written posts and most likely pictures of various topics within your interests or niche. For websites that offer collaborative opportunities, you will have a collection of collaborators work. You can solicit content from others. You can create your own content. The possibilities are plentiful.

No matter what the content is, make sure that it’s well thought out because content is king. Without content, you website would be empty so make sure to plan it out and find everything you need to make your content enjoyable, engaging, or useful to anyone who comes across it.

7. Logo

You have everything you need to start your website. Now you just need something that lets people know that it is yours. A logo can be a symbol or graphic pertaining to the type of website you have or you can have the name done in typography.

Either way you go, this will be used in other places other than your website. It can be used in social media posts, go on business cards or other promotional material, be used around the web, etc. It is your symbol that visitors come to know so that when they see it elsewhere, they know this is something from you.

There you have it! 7 Basics to get you started!

I hope you have enjoyed this post. If you want to show support and thanks for these tips, you can leave a comment in the comments section, contact me, or check out my services. Many of the things I have mentioned, I offer too! You can check out my website Christina Rodriguez Online or click below to shop for domain names, web hosting, e-mail accounts and more!

Web Services

I also build websites for clients, especially for artists! If you want a web designer to build your website, let's talk!

Till next time!

]]><![CDATA[Stop Using The Word "Fat" for Your Choices!]]>Sun, 03 May 2015 05:00:00 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/stop-using-the-word-fat-for-your-choicesHello My Readers,

It's been a while since I have blogged about anything. Grad school has kept me very busy. The second semester is almost done, so that means a Summer of blogging! But I digress. We have something more important to talk about.

The one thing I would love to eradicate is that if you are eating junk/unhealthy food or just eating a lot in general that people say it's "the fat person" in them or that they are "being fat" right now.

Excuse me?

I didn't get the memo that enjoying food, eating stuff that is not good for anyone, or eating a lot of food was only exclusive to "fat" people. So skinny people or "healthy" people don't enjoy food too? It's a shameful thing to say. It's not about being fat or skinny, it's about being healthy and being comfortable in the body or skin you are in. It's also offensive to someone who is on the heavier side. If you are being fat or this is the fat person in you and we are both eating something junky or unhealthy together, what the hell does that make me?

Is it the "fatter person" in me? Am I being "obese" right now?

See where I am getting at?

If you made a choice to eat something, live with that choice and...shut up! I didn't force you and no one else did either. Unless you have an eating disorder (which of course means we have to deal with this situation differently because the mindset is different), you have no right to misuse a state of being as your word choice, just because you chose to eat something you knew you shouldn't have.

You are not doing something that is "fat". You are making a choice that you now feel guilty about. A choice that doesn't mean, “Hey I'm fat now.” or “I have to control being fat.” As a person who is fat, I'm still fat whether I am eating fries or a salad.

There's no “I'm being fat right now”.

There's “I'm eating.” Because that's what all of us need to do!

We have to eat to survive. How much we choose to eat is a personal choice. Labeling that choice as something negative, using a description of a person that is a reality to hundreds of people around the world is not okay. I need to be healthier, but I'm okay with being fat, fluffy, plus sized, whatever you want to call me. That doesn't mean that I'm okay with someone using fat as a way to describe how much food they are eating.

Think about that next time you are making a food choice that is not right for YOU. Especially if you are eating with someone who is always fat like me.

It really is enough to say “I ate too much right now”.

Trust me, so did I! Good tasting food will do that to you.

Till next time,

#theycalledherbravenewgirl]]><![CDATA[Happy National Poetry Month! Here's my 30/30 of Poetry Life]]>Wed, 01 Apr 2015 14:41:01 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/happy-national-poetry-month-heres-my-3030-of-poetry-life

Hello out there! It's been a while since I have been on the blog. I am very sorry about that. Graduate school has taken over my life! But for what I call my holiday month (yes National Poetry Month is as much as a holiday as Easter and Passover to me), I decided to make time. Here is a tanka I wrote for the occasion. Most likely, I will be doing what I did last year, mixing it up between my writing, sharing other people's poems, and all things poetry. My lit journal, Typoetic.us, is posting a prompt a day and is encouraging others to share their poems using the tag #NAPOTYPO on social media. If you would like a daily prompt, like us on Facebook or catch us on Tumblr. Here's what the prompts look like:

One of my ace editors has been making up prompts like crazy. I could have used her during the past five years of doing NaPoWriMo!

Our third issue is coming out very soon! Look out for it.

For now, that's I have to say. I have to get back in the groove of posting again. School is a great place, but it can take away as well.

Til next time,

]]><![CDATA[Come on and #GrowFierce!]]>Tue, 18 Nov 2014 17:08:22 GMThttp://www.thewritequeen.com/blog/come-on-and-growfierceHello My Loves,

I come from the trenches of grad school to give you good news! Remember Digging Deep, Facing Self? You know, that course I took in the Summer of 2013 and keep raving about? Well there are some exciting things happening in the #DDFS world!

DDFS is been rebranded! While the course is still called Digging Deep, Facing Self, the community is now known as #GrowFierce. #GrowFierce was often used in promotion of the course and the readings in New York. Eventually we just kept calling it #GrowFierce externally as well as internally. I know it stuck for me and it must of stuck for Caits, the course's fierce leader, because now you can go to www.growfierce.com and see what the course and community has to offer. This beautiful new website showcases the wonderful community we have on the Internet.

Aside from rebranding, important additions have been made to the team. The core team consists of Caits, a lead facilitator (Hey Sabina!), a media producer, a content advisor, a PR person, and a financial advisor. After that there is a team of advisors that consist of 11 women who are deeply rooted in the #GrowFierce community.

I am happy to say that I am one of those 11 women!

See? That's me! And other wonderful women.

The Advisory team, which is best described on the website is this: These brilliant women, all DDFS course alumni, help us guide and create best practices, weigh in on changes to the community and help cultivate a lively, supported post-course experience in our extended alumni network. They also brainstorm – and lead – ways we can consistently give back to the world’s sisterhood of women through various free and low-cost engagements.

#GrowFierce is one of the bright spots in my life. I am honored and humbled to be a part of the community in this extraordinary way. I hope to use my time in school to learn ways I can help #GrowFierce.

I take this role seriously with an open heart, so let me start by advising you to join the #GrowFierce Community and take the course in January! Think you can't afford it in one shot? There are payment plans and scholarships! Just go on #GrowFierce - www.growfierce.com.

Can't say it enough, go to www.growfierce.com!

Plus you know you want to be bad ass enough to hold a cactus. I dare you to be this fierce!

Til next time!

Christina

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