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Day 23 - 10 Reasons why I want to give up (And realizing that they are excuses)

5/23/2012

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  1. I don’t have time to put together a book. (Make time! There is no such thing as complete free time.)
  2. My material is not good enough. (Yes it is. You have been published, you can always edit, put only your strongest poems.
  3. My funds are low. (Save up your money, find out how to cut out corners, etc.)
  4. I am afraid that no one will like it anyway. (YOU HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED, you have people who tell you that they LOVE your writing, poetry is either hit or miss so don’t sweat those who miss it.)
  5. I don’t know what my book cover will be. (Really? Ask people for help once you put together the manuscript or wait for it to come to you. Cover is the least of your worries.)
  6. I need help editing. (First of all, plenty of people edit their own work. Second, you know writers! Just ask for help!)
  7. There was someone who was going to help me and now I have no one who makes it feel…safe (Once again, you know writers! Just because you were comfortable with someone, doesn’t mean that there are not other people you will feel comfortable showing your writing too. And nothing is safe…ever.)
  8. I don’t feel encouraged. (You have people who are happy that you are doing this. Do you want them to throw you a parade? Or do you want to be reminded that this is a good step everyday? Tell your boyfriend, your best friend, someone to say “You can do it!” if it makes you feel better. But you are encouraged.)
  9. I feel embrassed by some of the material I am choosing. (Well you are choosing to include it. And sorry to tell you, life is embrassing. This is why you still replay embrassing moments from 10 years ago in your head. If you really want this to reflect you, you have to tell it how it is.)
  10. I don’t know what I am doing. (Oh yes you do and if you don’t, learn! You wouldn’t have gotten this far if you didn’t know. This book will happen!)


I realized that I could have went on, going back and forth with myself, but that’s not good for me, the readers of this site, and more importantly, the progress of the book. I do think it’s important however to put these feelings out there so they don’t have as much power as they seemingly do. And I do know the answers to my fears (as you guys obviously see). The ultimate feeling is that I am just afraid. The only answer to that is for me to stop being afraid. I have to tell myself that everyday. Stop being afraid.


Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

You can do this…you have to.

Your words are everything.
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Bitten Adventures in Miami

5/18/2012

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When my co-worker went to Miami last month, I sent her with two of the Bitten booklets. As you see, one of them made it to a place full of good times. This month into June, my boyfriend is staying in Florida to help out his family. I gave him two booklets that I had on me and told him to print the rest and stick them into the corners of places he’ll visit. Unfortunately, he has no data on his phone so I probably won’t get photos of his literary adventure until he gets back. Maybe he could e-mail them to me…hmmm!
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Day 18 - Just an update

5/18/2012

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​I am making great progress with poem selection and editing for the book. I may have enough for a couple of side chapbooks. Who knows. My personal life is kind of crumbling around me so this project is more important than ever.

In other news, Bitten might get another rotation in Florida. Oh wait, no one knows about that here! I will post a couple of pictures of where Bitten was tucked away in Florida the first time around in a little bit.
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Day 10 - Should I continue to write more material?

5/10/2012

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Last night, when I was at the Lacuna Coil concert at the Gramercy Theater, for some reason, my head sprouted with new lines for me to work with. While this is great, since I haven’t been writing since mid April, I am not sure if I should write more material and then add it to my already overflowing pile of poems to choose from. 

That doesn’t mean that I won’t write when inspiration calls. This just means that until I can make more definite decisions, I can’t just add it because it might fit the criteria.

I think I just need to get a move on with selection and worry about new pieces later.

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Day 7 - Form and Fit

5/7/2012

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​For the past couple of days, I have been looking over some of my work. Anyone familiar with my work knows that I write a lot of love poems (though I have never claimed to be a love poet). But I do write about other things, like family, casual observations, abstract, and views about myself. 

In a book where a lot of the poems seem to be love poems, where do I fit the other great pieces about…well, not love? Do I divide my book up in different sections so I can include more? After all, late night feelings don’t have to be about love. Should I just leave them out? Make another book out of what’s leftover? Decisions, decisions.

Another problem is the different forms I have. Will it look odd to have a bunch of free form poems and then have 10 haiku and an acrostic poem? How about having short poems versus long poems?

I guess my real ultimate question is: How do I create symmetry and harmony within my book without losing edge? 
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Day 3 - Finding Space

5/3/2012

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Today I wanted to sit down with my poems and edit. I wanted to dive right in and make more definite choices in my selections. There is only one problem: I have no place to do this privately.

I live with my mother and grandmother in a one bedroom apartment. To say there is no privacy and no quiet moments until everyone goes to sleep is an understatement. My mother and I moved into my grandmother’s four months ago due to need on both ends. Since I am not making that full time money, I had very little choice in the matter. So here I am, no space of my own to breathe, let alone to write and edit.

So far, I have been working around it. Writing during lunch breaks or lulls at work, going to my Alma mater and going to their library. But these places are not fulfilling my needs. I always have to look over my shoulder. If I come across a particular poem or if I have to get that hard hitting post written, I can’t let my tears slip down my face. I can’t talk to myself about what I am doing or anything. I basically have to go through the writing and editing process as quietly and discreetly as I can.

So where is a girl suppose to go when there is no place to go? I have been scoping out tea houses and cafes that are very low key. I still can’t cry, but at least I could laugh or murmur to myself gently. Maybe a couple of hours after work could help. I guess I will just have to go to one and see. I keep scoping out quiet places that could be my sanctuary until I could have my own. Recommendations anyone? I welcome them!
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Day 2 - Research and Funding Options

5/3/2012

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Once I have the manuscript prepared, I have very BIG decisions to make. I am still deciding if I should submit the manuscript to contests and small presses or if I should self publish it. I think I am going to do both. If submissions don’t work out, I could always do it myself, something I am used to doing anyway. I am reading as many articles, websites, and e-books about self publishing and contests as I can. Hopefully once I weed out the bad resources, I could share some of those with the Late Night Feelings audience.

Funding is the biggest issue though. You don’t always have a lot of money when you are a part-time temp who is one of the main contributors of the household. I am trying to save money for production costs and for my business E.A.T. Media at the same time. It’s not easy.

Funding a book can be a little bit easier than funding a business. There are a couple of options I am looking into besides saving. One option is accepting donations. I created a donations button through PayPal this morning. It is in the left hand corner of the page. If you do donate (which I would be so grateful for), be warned that it’s going to have my company’s name on the page because my personal PayPal was converted to a business one. Until I can find a reliable bank to switch its funding to (attached to my own account right now), I can’t rebuild my personal PayPal account yet. So you are not being duped, it’s just that the page was my personal account at one point and everything is lumped together for the moment.

I am also looking into Kickstarter to obtain funding. I like the thought of people coming together through Kickstarter to fund a project. Before I set up a Kickstarter page though, I must finish my research, estimate my costs, and then come up with the packages of goods that people will get if they give a certain amount. This is definitely going to take more time than I thought. That’s okay though. I want the best for my book. All good things come to those who wait.
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Day 1 - Deciding to take a leap

5/2/2012

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“IF YOU DO NOT BREATHE THROUGH WRITING, IF YOU DO NOT CRY OUT IN WRITING, OR SING IN WRITING, THEN DON’T WRITE, BECAUSE OUR CULTURE HAS NO USE FOR IT.” - ANAIS NIN


I am sick of writing and trying to breathe. I am tired of crying. That’s all I have done while writing these poems. Late Night Feelings is built on the struggle of breathing through tears. And I am not even done. I am tired of the broken heart so this is why the time is right. It’s time to give it a voice and not hide behind the mess. It maybe absolutely horrible and useless, but guess what? You are going to see it. I’m on the edge and I am jumping.
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Day 2 Part 2- My Life Saving Organizer

5/2/2012

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While all of my thoughts and ideas, these resources, and potential cover ideas are floating around in my head and in front of my eyes…there is Evernote. I have seen Evernote in the Android and iPhone markets for the past couple of years. I have been resistant. I said that my default memo pads on my phone and iPod was enough. After a few mishaps, I realized it’s not. I was losing too much info every time I switched phones because of preference or malfunction. Though I do e-mail myself my notes a lot of the time, sometimes e-mails get accidentally deleted or I close out of my memo pad before I get to save my note. Since I am more of an on-the-go or wherever I am type of girl, being able to capture my thoughts and put it on my phone is the most convenient thing for me to do.

So after another mishap with my phone’s memo pad, I decided to give Evernote a try. This was the best decision I ever made. With Evernote, it automatically saves, you can organize your notes by notebooks and tags, you can record audio, and take a snapshot. You can also save a clip of a web url, page, or the full site. There are many apps that also help Evernote function as a portable notebook. You can share your stuff from Evernote on different sites. 

I could go on and on! All I know as I am doing research, it has been a life saver! I have a “Late Night Feelings” notebook where all of my book research is going into. I especially love that between the phone app and the desktop program (something I have installed on both my work and home computers) I can always gain quick access to whatever I was last working on. I can even log on through their website and look at my notes through there.

I just wanted to let everyone know about this program because anyone who is a writer, an artist, or a business person needs to know about it. It is one of the most convenient applications to help you along any project. I am an Evernote groupie for life now.
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Possible Cover

5/2/2012

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This is a cover that I made when I first came up with the title of my book. Of course it is not a definite, but hey, we’ll see.
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    Christina D. Rodriguez

    A Latinx poet and entrepreneur who blogs about poetry, music, writing, and life.


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