​

1. I don’t have time to put together a book. (Make time! There is no such thing as complete free time.)
2. My material is not good enough. (Yes it is. You have been published, you can always edit, put only your strongest poems.
3. My funds are low. (Save up your money, find out how to cut out corners, etc.)
4. I am afraid that no one will like it anyway. (YOU HAVE BEEN PUBLISHED, you have people who tell you that they LOVE your writing, poetry is either hit or miss so don’t sweat those who miss it.)
5. I don’t know what my book cover will be. (Really? Ask people for help once you put together the manuscript or wait for it to come to you. Cover is the least of your worries.)
6. I need help editing. (First of all, plenty of people edit their own work. Second, you know writers! Just ask for help!)
7. There was someone who was going to help me and now I have no one who makes it feel…safe (Once again, you know writers! Just because you were comfortable with someone, doesn’t mean that there are not other people you will feel comfortable showing your writing too. And nothing is safe…ever.)
8. I don’t feel encouraged. (You have people who are happy that you are doing this. Do you want them to throw you a parade? Or do you want to be reminded that this is a good step everyday? Tell your boyfriend, your best friend, someone to say “You can do it!” if it makes you feel better. But you are encouraged.)
9. I feel embrassed by some of the material I am choosing. (Well you are choosing to include it. And sorry to tell you, life is embrassing. This is why you still replay embrassing moments from 10 years ago in your head. If you really want this to reflect you, you have to tell it how it is.)
10. I don’t know what I am doing. (Oh yes you do and if you don’t, learn! You wouldn’t have gotten this far if you didn’t know. This book will happen!)

I realized that I could have went on, going back and forth with myself, but that’s not good for me, the readers of this site, and more importantly, the progress of the book. I do think it’s important however to put these feelings out there so they don’t have as much power as they seemingly do. And I do know the answers to my fears (as you guys obviously see). The ultimate feeling is that I am just afraid. The only answer to that is for me to stop being afraid. I have to tell myself that everyday. Stop being afraid.


Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

Stop being afraid.

You can do this…you have to.

Your words are everything.

​I am making great progress with poem selection and editing for the book. I may have enough for a couple of side chapbooks. Who knows. My personal life is kind of crumbling around me so this project is more important than ever.

In other news, Bitten might get another rotation in Florida. Oh wait, no one knows about that here! I will post a couple of pictures of where Bitten was tucked away in Florida the first time around in a little bit.

Last night, when I was at the Lacuna Coil concert at the Gramercy Theater, for some reason, my head sprouted with new lines for me to work with. While this is great, since I haven’t been writing since mid April, I am not sure if I should write more material and then add it to my already overflowing pile of poems to choose from. 

That doesn’t mean that I won’t write when inspiration calls. This just means that until I can make more definite decisions, I can’t just add it because it might fit the criteria.

I think I just need to get a move on with selection and worry about new pieces later.

​For the past couple of days, I have been looking over some of my work. Anyone familiar with my work knows that I write a lot of love poems (though I have never claimed to be a love poet). But I do write about other things, like family, casual observations, abstract, and views about myself. 

In a book where a lot of the poems seem to be love poems, where do I fit the other great pieces about…well, not love? Do I divide my book up in different sections so I can include more? After all, late night feelings don’t have to be about love. Should I just leave them out? Make another book out of what’s leftover? Decisions, decisions.

Another problem is the different forms I have. Will it look odd to have a bunch of free form poems and then have 10 haiku and an acrostic poem? How about having short poems versus long poems?

I guess my real ultimate question is: How do I create symmetry and harmony within my book without losing edge? 

​
“IF YOU DO NOT BREATHE THROUGH WRITING, IF YOU DO NOT CRY OUT IN WRITING, OR SING IN WRITING, THEN DON’T WRITE, BECAUSE OUR CULTURE HAS NO USE FOR IT.” - ANAIS NIN

I am sick of writing and trying to breathe. I am tired of crying. That’s all I have done while writing these poems. Late Night Feelings is built on the struggle of breathing through tears. And I am not even done. I am tired of the broken heart so this is why the time is right. It’s time to give it a voice and not hide behind the mess. It maybe absolutely horrible and useless, but guess what? You are going to see it. I’m on the edge and I am jumping.