The Write Queen
The Write Queen

The Write Queen Blog

If you are not confident, you're doing a trial run

7/20/2012

0 Comments

 
Hello Write Queen Readers!

I want to say that life is the excuse for the break, but it isn't. Well, it's part of the reason, but it's something bigger. It's confidence. It's all about confidence.

See, I have this dream for myself. I want to be a writer who is about the writing life. Who travels all over, is known in writing circles, and who has torrid love affairs with books and men of her choosing. I want a brownstone in Brooklyn, a house in Long Island and several landing pads in various cities that I adore. I want a MFA in Poetry from the Columbia College of Chicago, to start a family, and to have a media center where I can help other artists realize their dreams.

Most of this is doable. But I lack confidence. I know I have the knowledge, a lot of ambition and a pinch of this thing called talent. And I am wasting it everyday I don't live the writing life. Why don't I live the writing life? Let me tell you.

I'm busy chasing after the wrong things. Like a stable job. Yes, we all need money, but everyday I try for a job that has yet to hire me, I am selling myself short. This job is not even in my field. But I have obligations that hold me back.

Like family. I love my family. Do anything for them. But right now, all I am doing is draining myself dry emotionally, physically, and financially while sweeping their bad habits under the rug. No one can fix something that the person with the problem does not want to fix themselves. The more I realize it, the more I know that I have to really break out on my own. In more way than one.

I also have boys on the brain. My relationship has been in a whirlwind that I needed to pause because it was going in the wrong direction. A separate situation has made me see all things that I still need to work on. Like having the balls to say what I want the way I do in my poems.

Which brings it all back to confidence. Last night, I spent time with my EAT Media team and I told them about having confidence in themselves. They are all great writers and artists. They have talents that need to be seen. But they either lack confidence, ambition, or practice. And I gave them a talking to that a leader should have when she sees that her team is shying away from challenge.

It was a rush. Seeing everyone put everything out on the table and listening to each other...it was one hell of a rush.

I put myself on the chopping block too and my problem is being shy with everything I have. Or in other words, not having confidence.

I need to practice what I preach. I got the total package for the writing world and for the rest of life. Now I just need to be confident and push forward because the lack of confidence stops my progress. And I want my brownstone in Brooklyn.

I have my accomplishments. But then I stop when it looks like I am going somewhere because I am afraid. I read somewhere that if you are not confident, you're doing a trial run. I'm not going to talk about not having confidence anymore, I just going to have it.

The trial run is over.
0 Comments
    Picture

    Christina D. Rodriguez

    A Latinx poet and entrepreneur who blogs about poetry, music, writing, and life.


    Archives

    April 2019
    December 2017
    August 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    August 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    November 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    December 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011
    April 2011
    March 2011
    February 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    July 2010
    April 2010
    January 2010
    December 2009
    October 2009
    July 2009
    June 2009
    April 2009
    March 2009
    February 2009
    January 2009
    November 2008
    October 2008
    August 2008
    June 2008


    Categories

    All
    2011 Haiku Madness
    2011 Self Discovery Poems
    2011 Tanka Marathon
    Aros
    Awareness
    Books
    Dear Person Epistles
    Digging Deep
    Events
    Facing Self
    Fashion
    Film
    Fun Stuff
    January 2011 A River Of Stones
    Late Night Feelings
    Media
    Miscellaneous
    Music
    Nahaiwrimo 2013
    Napowrimo 2009
    Napowrimo 2010
    Napowrimo 2011
    Napowrimo 2012
    Napowrimo 2013
    NaPoWriMo 2014
    National Poetry Month
    Photography
    Poetry
    Politics
    Projects
    Prose
    Remembrance
    Site Updates
    Social Media
    Technology
    The Book Jumper
    The Write Discoveries
    The Write Journey
    The Write Poems
    The Write Rants
    The Write Recommendations
    The Write Web
    #theycalledherbravenewgirl
    Thoughts And Opinions
    Visual Art
    WQ Performances
    Writing Challenges

    RSS Feed

    Follow The Write Queen

    bloglovin

The Write Queen & Christina Rodriguez Online © All Rights Reserved 2008 - 2020.