The Write Queen Blog - The Write Queen

10 Ways You Can Overcome Your Fear Of Vulnerability (In Your Writing Life)

4/28/2014

Stand in a room full of women and admit that while you wrote bits and scraps of how you can overcome the fear of vulnerability, you know that none of it will compare to anything they wrote, so you gave up before you even started and you spent a half an hour trying not to bolt out of the door.
Go home and tell your mother that you fear that you are not a good writer, but still deny her the right to see your writing when she says, Well I don't know because you never show me anything.
Go and sit in front of a computer, trying to get out all of doubts for the next hour, but settle down to play Candy Crush on your phone instead, before going to sleep.
Wake up Monday morning and write a cryptic messages in your Springpad that you won't share until a month later.
Sit at your desk at work and slowly move water bottles away from his picture. Smile at the memories from nearly a year before as you play around with the corners of tape, realizing you should keep it up for just one more day.
Open up Facebook and message the one friend you haven't shut out these days, telling her that her week long vacation to Florida has been one of the hardest weeks of your life.
Go on your iPad during your lunch break and look over all of your scraps of writing, realizing that there is something worth sharing.
Plan your next ten blog posts on your commute home, feeling yourself a little more as the ideas start to pore out.
Write about half of the things you want to write about, pressing publish before you change your mind.
Write notes to yourself that it's never going to be easy, but each time you share a chunk of your words and feelings, a piece of the wall will come down.

Publish this list and realize that it was so simple, so you edit it with a bonus tip:

There's no overcoming this. You just wake up each day and go on the adrenaline of I can't keep hiding to at least pretend you can get over this.

10 Ways You Can Overcome is a weekly blog series that I will be writing as I confront who I am as a person, a writer, and a creative entity in life. I hope my path will be able to help someone out there as they confront some of these issues in their own lives, personally and professionally.

21/30 - From The Bone Pile: Excerpts Of Poems I Never Want To Show

4/27/2014

Hey There Poets and Readers,

My fellow poets, do you ever have those poems that you would never share with the world because they are either too personal, they may not be appropriate to show in certain circles, or they just suck? I have quite a few and while these are works that I rather not show, there are some great lines I really want to share.

Not every poem is meant for the world and you are in control with what you share. You don't have to share a whole poem to show that you have written. With that said, here are some of my lines from the X-Files (if you know me, you know what this means):

Politics

"It's the I become
a babbling mess and
everything I keep working
towards goes
out the window
because
you make me
want to get
on my knees
and
beg, pray, suck
your cock -
look up at you
like you are
the majestic king."

Accountability - Part II

"How do I stop myself from wanting your name in my womb? "

The Hunt

"It's another day
in the life of me.

7:23 AM,
brushing my teeth,
calculating time
while listening
to my poetry
gods.

They remind me to
lick the dawn
in between
my fingers
as I storm
out of the house.

That if I do not get
the job and have wasted
a day in my
Ashley Stewart,
Lane Bryant,
Avenue combo,
I still have the
beauty of you
under my tongue.

So I'll sit for a moment
in my borrowed Queens
apartment and pray
that one day,
I will sit on the steps
of Brooklyn again.

I will get the chance
to love you
again, my god,
poet."

20/30 - The Operating System's 30/30/30 - Day 20

4/27/2014

Hello Write Queeners,

Take a look at my post on Clarice Lispector for The Operating System's 30/30/30 - 30 Poets talking about 30 Other Poets in 30 Days. Such an honor to be featured on here, especially to talk about one of my greatest influences(still think I babbled a lot though). Click on the picture to get the site.

19/30 - Poems From Workshops: Part 2

4/27/2014

Phases

I am
purple drums
beating to the
smirks of opening
acts that have nothing
to do with the play,
a forward of Ara
humming Dawn Richard
while meeting you
in panties, converses
and breasts, loaded
pistol to the hips.

I am
the teacher with
the ranch-styled
house, cat, bicycles
in driveway,
bananas on counter,
canned corn next
to the sack of potatoes
and ham for dinner,
switching on ABC 7
for Grey's Anatomy,
tweeting quotes
from my iPhone.

I am
a jug of Water mixed
with nitrogen,
a long and lingering
secret love in
Helvetica Bold
under autumn leaves
in Queens,
a cup of tea
tucked between
a stack of literary
magazines and
poetry by Amber Tamblyn.

18/30 - When Ghosts Create Poems On Your Phone While You're At An Event On Staten Island

4/27/2014

Hello Poetry fiends,

Last Friday, I was at an event for the Deep Tanks series in Staten Island. I've never been in the borough and was already fascinated, but creeped out about being in an unfamiliar place. At some point, I was getting ready to send a text message several times, but backed out of the inbox many times.

When I was finally ready to write the message, I saw that there was text already there. I started to delete it, thinking it was something I copied and pasted from earlier when I realized that none of it made sense. I really wished that I didn't delete part of it. But I do have the rest.

Guess the poetry gods said that a poem was going to be written one way or another that night. Check it out:

The elders about the hunger walk please call 130 we Chicago Days global lending day honey red willow gave by pipe in about 10 gray yellow bile text das West lifted and pray your ride home

Guess everyone is a poet, including the iPhone. Probably won't be going to SI for a while if this is what happens!

The Ability to Overcome

4/27/2014

If you are angry about something, it means you'll have the ability to get over it because you can't carry that anger. That eventually turns into something else.

Came home, turned on my computer and oddly enough that anger confronted me in the form of presence.

Then I stopped and thought why am I wasting my time...I'm better than this. I'm doing great things and I will continue to do great things. I can't help everyone, be there for everyone, sacrifice for everyone nor continue to be in everyone's ear for something that just may not be their time. I have to grow, heal, and learn for me.

So while I was feeling a million different things today, I am so glad I went to something where a bunch of wonderful women taught me quite a few lessons through the gift of writing. I have a lot to think about in terms of growth, but more importantly about what I need to overcome.

This was originally going to be a Facebook status, but then I got wordy. I have to do a little thinking about this, but something I wrote today, may turn into something bigger. I'll post that tomorrow once I look at it with fresh eyes and tighten it up a bit. But it all has to do with overcoming, thought about in a different way.

Oh boy, maybe #theycalledherbravenewgirl can really do something for my spirit and yours (yes you staring at this).

I have to thank Erica and her Write-In for inspiring and healing a little part of me today. Check her out by clicking the picture below.

Bucket List Of Things To Do Before I Move Away For Two Years

4/27/2014

Hello there!

There are many things I want to do in this life. I've been thinking about some of them for a while before I decided to uproot my life. Now that I'm on my way to leaving, there are a few things I want to do before I leave my family and friends because chances are, I'm not going to just bump into you while walking down the street in Chicago.

Of course I'll make new friends while I'm there and if I can do something with them, that would be great! But nothing beats family and friends who are here right now. So hopefully when all my loved ones hear what I wanna do, they will actually oblige me (And on the cheap because I am trying to save whatever money I have.)!

A make over - not because I think I need one, but because I want to show off my true style. Maybe I'll document it here.
A photo shoot or two - because I take a lot of selfies and as an artist, I should have some shots done.
Go to the Transit Museum - I love the History of the NYC Transit System. I never been and I would like to just once (what if it closes when I'm gone?! - the time is now!)
Go to museums in general. I like them, I love art and history. I am a nerd. Come be nerdy with me. Oh and I've never been to the Hall of Science even though I can walk there from my house!
Go to Poet's House and more institutions of poetry organizations. I have to feed the addiction in many ways.
Go to new bookstores. Just one or two that I haven't been to.
Go to a few arts events to network with my EAT Media team - we would be a smashing hit if we were all together!
Hit up a couple of open mics.
Go out for dinner and drinks with old friends.
Go out for dinner and drinks with my COUSINS! (And if they visit my website, hopefully they will say something about this before I do - yes I am checking you guys!)
Go on a couple of after work cruises. I like the water and had so much fun on the couple I went on two summers ago.
Act like a hardcore tourist in my hometown - just for maybe half a day because I am a New York and I don't have time for all of that.
Do things with my parents. I don't know what, but something. They may be driving me crazy now, but they are my parents.
JUST DO DIFFERENT THINGS! - There's so much to do and not do. Let's just get crazy.

This list is kind of lame, but these things would make me happy. I know my life is going to change so much in Chicago so I would like to carry some memories from home with me.

Down to get crazy with me? Let me know!

17/30 - Poems From Workshops

4/25/2014

Hello my lovely readers,

I realized that I have take a few workshops in the past year, but I haven't shared my poems.

I'll be sharing some throughout the rest of this journey, on top of lines from the bone pile (which you'll have to wait for a few posts before I get to that).

So without further ado, some poetry!:

Alone

11:45 p.m.
glow of television
outlines
cup of rice pudding
rice
congealed in cinnamon,
milk -

no name brand

representing
thousands of
Latinas and
lips,
looking for
satisfaction
late night calls
for,

stretching
toes on the side
of bed
no one sleeps
in,

TV falling into a
buzz as I scrape
last lumps
sticking
to the bottom of
cup.

16/30 - Creating Poetry Through iPhone Apps: Part 2 - Heyku

4/24/2014

Hey Haiku Lovers,

If you like haiku and being on your phone, you can do both with the Heyku app. With Heyku, you can write each line according to a prompt the app gives or write in your own. Then you get to share it as a lovely little note with the Heyku community and on your social networks. Take a look at some of the screenshots below to get a feel of the app.

You can visit the Heyku website and download the app for free for the iPhone from there.

15/30 - Creating Poetry Through iPhone Apps: Part 1 - Cognitive Constructs

4/24/2014

Sometimes the poem and the brain need assistance in meeting. Something to jog the memory of a line waiting in the bone pile of the tongue.

Cognitive Constructs is an app for the iPhone that does just that. You click on words and form phrases. This app includes the ability to type in your own words so if you are jolted by what you create with what is given, you can add on to it with whatever comes to mind.

I use this app as a tool for creating poetry. Check out these screenshots with an example of what you can create.

To download the app, you can go here: iTunes.

I recently made an e-book of the same name of some of my creations. You can download a copy at Payhip or visit The Write Queen Store.