I find myself going back to the same topics in my writing, even though I no longer feel the same way about them. I'm writing love poems for someone I feel very differently about now than I did a year ago. I am still not writing poems for someone I do love dearly. I even format a lot of my poems in the same way now.
What's happening to me?!
I think I have entered a comfort zone. I think.
I say that I think because there is a part of me that is comfortable with my topics, my form, and so forth.
There's another part of me that says there is a lot of unfinished business in my head and in my heart.
Some of my material in the past two years has had one person in mind the majority of the time. The poems I have written in the past two years, well some of them have been my best. Some of them were just for venting. Regardless, they have had one person in mind.
I haven't been writing poetry for a while. Between work and home, I have neglected my craft. With National Poetry Month, I am now pushing myself to write poems. I'm pushing myself to write anything these days. But now that I am writing daily for the month, I find myself going back to this person in my work. Here's the catch: I don't feel the same way as I did a year ago, yet I am writing the same feelings. The new ones aren't even a factor right now.
I can't say that I no longer care for this person. I do. But the reality of it is that the situation has changed, both in my heart and in real life. However, I think there is a part of me that is unresolved, bitter, and wants to still scream out the bit of desire that resides in a corner of my heart. Like I said, it's not that I no longer care for this person. I just don't care for the situation.
Part of me fears that people who know the story will see my latest poems and be like "Well this again?"
I want to set it straight, I'm unresolved. Not active. Just unresolved.
Just like with my issues with not writing about my love. I have before, don't get me wrong. But I think that I am worried about disappointment. I invest so much time in other ways into my relationship that I think by not writing about it, I have reserved a space in my life that won't be affected, should the worst happen.
I really do have issues.
I'm even comfortable in writing in the same forms now. I don't want to sound stupid if I try to write a certain type of poem. I fear failure.
Or I'm too comfortable.
It's easy to write about someone who isn't even in your life right now, just because you have before and it's worked. Same thing goes about not writing about someone. Or writing a million haikus just because you can, not because you need to write one. It's too easy to get stuck.
Hi, I am stuck. I need a jumpstart.
That's why my first poem of 30/30 hit a topic that I am usually scared to write about. I am TRYING. But my community of trusted writers went from 1 to 0, so I am truly going through the motions alone.
That's another issue however. What I really want to know is how do I finish my business, open up, and become a little more daring once again? Do I just write what's in my head and risk having an audience who is turned off by my material or do I force my way into new topics and risk having the same result?
How do I become unstuck from the comfort zone?
What's happening to me?!
I think I have entered a comfort zone. I think.
I say that I think because there is a part of me that is comfortable with my topics, my form, and so forth.
There's another part of me that says there is a lot of unfinished business in my head and in my heart.
Some of my material in the past two years has had one person in mind the majority of the time. The poems I have written in the past two years, well some of them have been my best. Some of them were just for venting. Regardless, they have had one person in mind.
I haven't been writing poetry for a while. Between work and home, I have neglected my craft. With National Poetry Month, I am now pushing myself to write poems. I'm pushing myself to write anything these days. But now that I am writing daily for the month, I find myself going back to this person in my work. Here's the catch: I don't feel the same way as I did a year ago, yet I am writing the same feelings. The new ones aren't even a factor right now.
I can't say that I no longer care for this person. I do. But the reality of it is that the situation has changed, both in my heart and in real life. However, I think there is a part of me that is unresolved, bitter, and wants to still scream out the bit of desire that resides in a corner of my heart. Like I said, it's not that I no longer care for this person. I just don't care for the situation.
Part of me fears that people who know the story will see my latest poems and be like "Well this again?"
I want to set it straight, I'm unresolved. Not active. Just unresolved.
Just like with my issues with not writing about my love. I have before, don't get me wrong. But I think that I am worried about disappointment. I invest so much time in other ways into my relationship that I think by not writing about it, I have reserved a space in my life that won't be affected, should the worst happen.
I really do have issues.
I'm even comfortable in writing in the same forms now. I don't want to sound stupid if I try to write a certain type of poem. I fear failure.
Or I'm too comfortable.
It's easy to write about someone who isn't even in your life right now, just because you have before and it's worked. Same thing goes about not writing about someone. Or writing a million haikus just because you can, not because you need to write one. It's too easy to get stuck.
Hi, I am stuck. I need a jumpstart.
That's why my first poem of 30/30 hit a topic that I am usually scared to write about. I am TRYING. But my community of trusted writers went from 1 to 0, so I am truly going through the motions alone.
That's another issue however. What I really want to know is how do I finish my business, open up, and become a little more daring once again? Do I just write what's in my head and risk having an audience who is turned off by my material or do I force my way into new topics and risk having the same result?
How do I become unstuck from the comfort zone?
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