Hello Write Queeners,

What better way to get back into blogging by writing a rant piece about a video I saw on UpWorthy. In a post titled, "A Dad Took These Photos Of His Daughter. They're Raising Some Eyebrows," we find a video about how a dad, who is a photographer, took photos of his daughter while they were on a trip. She is nude in some of them. He posted some of his favorites on Instagram and it started a controversy that inspired his exhibit and video about the situation.

This man's name is Wyatt Neumann. He is a pretty fantastic photographer. If you look at some of the photos on his site and in the video, you'll see that the moments he captures were ones where his child was carefree. Don't we all snap one or two of those ourselves of our children? Sometimes we post them. Sometimes we just send them to friends. As a photographer, he posted them because they were beautiful moments he wanted to share.

Then people started to say things about the photos, calling Wyatt sick and much more that you can hear in the video (I don't want to promote the negativity of it). Protesters of this even questioned the child which really is irksome. In one photograph where her hands are down her pants, do you think she is doing something? Why would you automatically think that? Kids do crazy things all the time. She may have ran outside like that and Dad said "Hun, look at the camera," and she may have been cold and decided to put her hands in her pants!

If we took a picture of our child taking a bath in the tub and they suddenly grabbed their crouch mid-shot, is it inappropriate? Or is it funny and innocent?

It's not like the man took his child and decided to pose her in 50 million provocative poses. She was acting naturally. I've seen parents dress their little girls in clothing that doesn't look appropriate because it looks too "adult" off the bat and some people don't bat an idea because it's a kid's version (which obviously covers parts and so forth). Any different?

Take a look at the video before we continue. I have a few questions that I would love people to respond to and start a dialogue with (which you can in the comments).

This was so innocent. It's amazing what people turn things into.

Questions: Had this been a woman photographer, would this had happened? Had it been their son and not their daughter, would there have been a different response? Do we automatically demonize men in situations like this?

If the father of my children was a photographer, I would be okay with photos like this because it's innocent. I would know him and his love for his children and his art. If it was anything otherwise, I would kill him. The only thing I would want is for him to run it by me because I am their mother and if I don't think it should go up, then it shouldn't go up.

Which brings me to this point: If Wyatt's wife is okay with the photos, no one else should care. Parenting is between two people if there is such a partnership in the family unit. If both parents feel that it's okay, why the grief?

They say that a child should have the right to consent to things like this as well. Which they should because it teaches them the freedom of choice. If they have been raised in a certain way, then their yes or no's will reflect on if they want something out there. If they have been taught to cover up or are scolded when they have been running around naked, then they may say "No." But if they haven't been taught that, then they may say "Yes" because they like the photo. They still may say "No" because they feel like it. But what parent is going to post pics if they actually ask their kid if it's okay and they say no? I'm sure if consent was present in the situation, he wouldn't have posted it based on what his daughter said.

His intention wasn't to take these photos and have this kind of exhibit; he was creating memories and wanted to share BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT ARTISTS DO! This came about from the Internet's response and what happened to him. ALSO HIS RIGHT AS AN ARTIST AND A PARENT.

I don't like the fact that the person who posted this on Upworthy says that he can't decide what to think in the description on Facebook. You think something. You expressed it. "Some of the images definitely feel creepy; don't get me wrong. I definitely was shocked when I first saw a couple of them." You showing bias and expressing it to your viewers before they even get to watch this. Poor sharing and reporting on your part Joseph Lamour. At least save that opinion for later on in the post if you have to have it. But that's another issue for another time.

Wyatt, you are a great photographer and dad. I hope that as an artist, when I have kids, that I can turn negativity into something powerful like this!

Thoughts, comments? Share them! Let's talk.

Til next time!

Hello Write Queeners,

You never realize what you have done until you tell someone else or someone else tells the world. This morning, while getting to work on time for the first time in a while, I was checking my messages when my darling soulmate Annette messages me. She informs me that Caits, the amazing leader of the Digging Deep, Facing Self course and the #GrowFierce movement (yes, I will call it a movement) has sent out a newsletter recapping DDFS first year(this is a link..click it!). I open my e-mail and was kind of blown away. 

Why? Because of this:

I almost forgot about the e-mail I answered about what we've been up to. I'm not even sure if this is everything! So much has happened to me in all aspects of my life in the past year. DDFS has been a shining star in my life and a huge driving force. Finding a community that helps you grow and pushes you to be the best you can be can do wonders. I hope I can do that with EAT Media one day (working on it!).

So after reading the newsletter and realizing that I have also participated in most of the DDFS events and opportunities in New York and online, I did the following:

• A happy dance in my work chair.
• Messaged my soulmate (who I met through the course by the way) and pow-wowed in happiness.
• Cried happy tears (and stopped because I am at work).
• Opened up my blog to write about this.

Sometimes you have to stop and say Go Me. I'm constantly reminding myself to celebrate accomplishments because as you know if you are a writer, you're biggest critic is you.

Now before I go, I am going to take a moment to show you two more things:

My readers! Do you have any accomplishments you would like to share? We can do happy dances together!

Time to go loves, till next time!

​The New York Times put out an article yesterday on the post college woes of Brooklyn College (and nationwide) graduates called Degree? Check. Enthusiasm? Check. Job? Not So Fast: Brooklyn College Graduates Step In to Depressing Job Market.

The article featured a young man named Jelani Thomas, 23 who has recently graduated from my alma mater. The article addressed my biggest challenge since graduating - a horrid job market awaiting hopeful and ready graduates.

I can name what most of my fellow alumni are doing right now and only a small percentage are using their degrees or are in jobs that they like. 

Some of them have gone back to school to obtain a Masters (including myself this Fall - hello debt!) while others are busy just trying to survive.

A lot of us are saying what's the point, but it's the education. It's the skills you learn. It's opening your world to something you want to do and not what you have to do. Our problem is that the job market won't let us use and pursue what we want to do. 

We blame it on colleges, as quite a few of my friends do, but they can't control the job market. And do we really want them to tell us "Well it's going to be sucky so you might have to wait a while for your dreams."? 

No because then we wouldn't finish. 

The way our government handles financing our education, the way the job market qualifies people is the problem. I never felt the need to blame my schools. You taught me what you could, but now it's up to me continue that education with experiences I make and to not to give up.

I do feel for these newly post undergrad babies. It's going to be tough, but if you have a goal, just keep going. Talk to friends, especially fellow graduates and build your network.

And remember, if you can't find a job opportunity, work on creating it yourself! If you need help and you're in the arts field, hey there's always EAT Media - www.eatmedia.org!

Till next time,
#theycalledherbravenewgirl

Hello my brave new souls,

Remember yesterday that maybe I'll talk about some of the things I've learned this past year? Well this is it! 27 lessons from Year 27. And trust me, there is more. So much more. But these are the ones that come up from the top of my head.

1. The inner voice will be the greatest being you'll have to face.
2. There are many forms of love. 
3. Put yourself out there and the universe will give you something back.
4. What you get back may be the smallest thing, but it could fill up your world.
5. A support system is always available if you seek it - it just may come in a form you didn't expect.
6. Always be honest in your heart and say it out loud. It may not result in much, but it's better than having the weight inside of you.
7. It's okay to feel your emotions. Feel the anger, hurt, sadness, happiness, etc. 
8. Don't dwell in the negative emotions for too long. Realize your positives and bounce back.
9. Know it's okay if you don't bounce back right away. It's okay if your positives are still slightly negative. Life is not sunshine.
10. Embrace your dark, but do not let it create harm for you or others.
11. Taking chances is the way to go. Opportunities, no matter how big or small will boost your spirit.
12. Don't depend on others just because they say yes. Sometimes that yes changes.
13. Listen to actions carefully. They are louder than words when nothing is being said.
14. Stop explaining yourself over and over again. They get it and they still don't work with you until they feel like it. 
15. Best friends often make the best lovers - it's the ability to get through muck that reinforces this - eh this one is a work in progress.
16. Don't feel guilty if you realize that you haven't reached out to a companion. Relationships are a two-way street.
17. But if you are thinking about it so much...reach out!
18. Respect yourself. No one is going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.
19. Quirky ideas that you think may not work out are usually some of your best.
20. Stop talking. Especially to people who don't get who you are - they just want to change you.
21. Don't accept silence all the time. Communication is key, even through the tough stuff. You can give space, but don't give them the universe to get lose in.
22. Don't place titles on something or someone without establishing that these are being made. I will act accordingly if you let me know my position.
23. You can't always apologize for miscommunication if you are not the party that miscommunicated. Stop doing it. It's not healthy to say 'I'm sorry' for their faults.
24. Continue with your talents even if you have a lot of hit or misses. Not everyday is going to be good, but the work will pay off.
25. We as a people need to show up harder for each other, but you as an individual needs to take accountability - that was a lesson from my soulmate and poetry sis.
26. Laugh it off because constant tears equal migraines.
27. Decide whether you want to watch or live your life. Regret can only happen if you don't do or go after something you want.​

Hello!

Today is exactly one month until the greatest day that has occurred in the world since 1986. My birthday! I will be celebrating 28 years on this earth. I am a little apprehensive because Year 27 was filled with many life changing events and Year 28 is the start of my biggest one yet - preparing to leave New York for graduate school.

Maybe one day this month, I'll get into the many things I've learned this year, but for now we are going to talk about goals. Things I want to finish before 28 happens. Or things I want to start for 28. Either way, let's get to listing!

• Finish editing my full length manuscript: Most of the poems have been edited. All I need to do is tweak a few additions and the layout. I could do that in a month. 
• Raise more money for the publication of my two books: This won't be finished by my birthday, but some progress would be nice. And a donation would make a nice birthday gift =) (Publish Me Fundraiser on GoFundMe)
• Start my 'Bucket List of Things To Do Before I Move Away For Two Years' list: Come play with me! Do something with me. You'll miss me when I'm gone and some of these things would make nice birthday gifts. Plus I love my friends (or even new friends...anyone reading from New York?) and want to spend time with them.
• Write a song: I've been itching to go into the studio and make some music or write some lyrics. Got ish on my mind and I miss the music world. Just a little bit.
• Make a business move: Whether it's having a meeting with my team or finishing some of my business planning, I want to finish something. I recently did a solo job for someone and let me tell you: It's nice to get paid!
• Find some peace over some situations: There's stuff that has happened in my life that isn't for the public to know (unless you read between the lines well. Then you're a smart cookie.). I want to find the peace of resolving issues and moving on to having active relationships with people again or find the peace in moving on, forgiving, and accepting that certain people are no longer a part of my life. It takes more than just me, but if it comes down to just me, then I am looking for the strength for that.
• Create something new: Something, anything! Constantly have stuff going on, but I am itching for something new. There is something brewing inside.

And I think that's it! There's probably more, but for now - this is what June is about. Let's see what happens.

Till next time,
#theycallherbravenewgirl

I'm glad I've learned not to hold my breath, but to surrender while walking - hoping you will catch the white flag and write something back. I've learned that unfinished stories, loops that cannot be broken, still drum in your belly if time tells your nerves that this is not done. 

If you never felt pain during take off, the struggle to not start something unknown, it was not meant to be a part of your story. If it drums in your heart day and night, you are not done. I've learned how to tightrope months of silence into smiles that sometimes make it past my eyes, knowing that silence will only cause a burning against your spine from the weight of waiting. 

I will not leave your doorstep until you say so. I will not put down the pen until you take it out of my hands. But this time around  as I slide the white flag across the table, I will not include a jar full of expectations, except one. =

To give it back.